Frieda's story
I am always inspired by the bravery and strength of the wonderful women who come to me, and Frieda was no exception. Frieda’s marriage has had its ups and downs, but she’s committed to her husband and he to her. It’s been a struggle for her to accept his limitations but that’s not what she came to me for today.
“I want to work on how I feel about my sister-in-law,” she said. “I’ve never liked her and while she’s not a big part of my life, it’s affecting my relationship with my husband. So much of his personality reminds me of her - the way he laughs, the way he walks - and I find myself getting so irritated at him.”
I admired Frieda for being so sensible! She recognized what was happening and took responsibility for herself and her happiness. We started to tap, beginning with the parts of her sister-in-law that bothered her (she’s so crass, so superficial, so insensitive).
As an aside, I never judge either the woman sitting across from me or the people she talks about. It’s completely irrelevant whether it’s objectively true. All that matters is that this is how this woman is experiencing it and these are her feelings.
We weaved our way through different aspects. Frieda was physically feeling nauseated as we brought up her revulsion - the body’s reaction to her intense emotions. A couple of memories came up and we tapped through those as well. When the subconscious brings up a memory, it usually means that this was an incident that helped form the current issue, so it’s worthwhile to clear it out.
We went back to the very first time she spoke to her sister-in-law, when her soon-to-be-husband gave her the phone. At first, Frieda was filled with disgust at the memory, but as we tapped the picture changed and it became more positive. The whining voice of her sister-in-law stopped being so irritating and her attitude changed completely.
We then switched to a metaphor - a great way to bypass the conscious mind and facilitate deep healing. What color or shape does your sister-in-law remind you of? Frieda immediately came up with a dark, foul-smelling blob of excrement.
It was disgusting imagery, and Frieda is a very refined woman with a beautiful, sensitive way of speech and dress. It isn’t always pleasant to face the uglier parts of ourselves, but it is only by acknowledging them that we can bring them to light.
Tapping worked its wonders. The dark blob got lighter. It stopped smelling so bad. It shrank. Finally, it dissipated away like the dew evaporating off a window, like foggy breath disappearing off a mirror.
Healing from the inside is so liberating.
Frieda had been carrying within her all the repulsion and negativity for years. All that toxicity inside her had probably caused the bouts of nausea she occasionally suffered. And now it was gone.
This is freedom.
Thank You Hashem for enabling me to take a part in this miraculous process.
